Day Five – All Hail Sigridur, Iceland’s first environmentalist

We left Fludir Guesthouse in good spirits, looking forward to driving further up the valley half an hour to Gullfoss (Golden Waterfall) and the nearby geysers. Then there would be a longish drive, 3 hours or so, to the Snaefellnes peninsular through the Dingvellir National Park, skirting around Reykjavik, wiggling up the west coast and west along the southern edge of the Snaefellses peninsular.

Gullfoss and the geysers are on the Golden Circle route, and are also within a couple of hours drive from Reykjavik. We expected crowds but so far, travelling out of season in early October we’d been lucky. Would you miss seeing the Niagara Falls because they might be heaving with tourists? Of course not.

It was overcast when we arrived at Gullfoss, people were trudging back to the car park soaked. We put on our waterproof trousers, zipped up our anoraks and headed down to the edge of the falls where all the excitement seemed to be happening. The path was slick with mud, the stones slithery from mists drifting across from thundering water powering over the edge of the falls. We landed in selfie world.

“Oh my god Tessa, look at those heels, where does she think she is?”

If it was that dramatic in October, imagine what it must be like in summer when there would be significantly more water tumbling over?

Have the sound up for this video!

We stood by the edge and stared, mesmerised by the force we were witnessing. I particularly liked that the only health and safety measure was a delightfully graphic sign and a modest rope. ‘You want to kill yourself? Off you go. Your choice. Mind how you take that selfie.’

In the early days of the last century, Gullfoss was at the centre of a controversy when foreign investors rubbed their hands and worked out how to profit from Iceland’s natural resources. Howell, an English businessman (boo, hiss), planned to utilise the waterfall’s energy to fuel a hydroelectric plant. Can you imagine how that would have destroyed the area?

Gullfoss was owned at the time by Tomas Tomasson, a farmer. He declined Howell’s offer to buy the land, famously stating “I will not sell my friend!” However, unaware of a loophole which could allow Howell to proceed with his plans, he leased him the land.

Enter Sigridur Tomasdottir, his daughter obvs, Iceland’s first environmentalist. She led the charge to halt Howell’s ambitions. The case rumbled on for years. Sigridur had to travel several times, on foot 62 miles to Reykjavik, to fight their case. At one point, she even threatened to throw herself over the falls if construction began.

Happily for us all she was successful. Howell withdrew from the lease in 1929 unable to keep up with the costs and complications of his plans. Lawyers eh? Gullfoss was saved for the Icelandic people, Sigridur hailed as Iceland’s first environmentalist. A stone memorial to her and plaque detailing her plight was erected at the top of Gullfoss.

There’s a nice little addendum to this. The lawyer who helped Sigrudur, Sveinn Bjornsson, went on to become the first president of an independent Iceland in 1944.

Climbing the steps high above the falls we went into the warm, modern designed visitors centre for a pee. But oh the clothes. There were so many temptations. As a lover of practical outdoorsy clothes I can strongly recommend going in, but only if your pockets are deep. I tried on a gorgeous grey felted wool dress with cowl neck and hoodie. Fortunately it too looked rubbish on me as it would have cost a month of gas at least. (Though as I sit now writing in my cabin with frozen hands, wondering when I’ll ever thaw out, it would have been just the ticket.)

“Postcards?” I said, and we loaded up with several to send to friends. Are we the last people standing (including my daughter) who do this?

We left for the geysers, I for one feeling smug I’d avoided a ridiculous spend. We could see the ground steaming as we approached. Several tourist coaches were parking up. One of the geysers reliably pops off every five minutes or so. We followed the trail along the concrete path past boiling springs (unnecessary signs telling us not to touch tho I expect some people are stupid enough to give it a go) and plopping mud to where we could see a circle of people ooing and ahhing in the distance. Woosh, up one went. It sounded like bonfire night.

“Oh we just missed it,” said Tessa.

Oh the anticipation…
Definitely watch with sound up.
This takes a bit of patience, or scroll to near the end if you like, or enjoy the anticipation,

The largest geyser is having a bit of a rest for the time being. However this hot pool of water it emerges from, that could decide to wake up any minute, is still worth a look. Someone has to be the person who gets the surprise. It might have been us.

Striking colours of sulphur and copper coloured mud ooze from it down the hill.

I looked at my watch. and found myself taking on the role of timekeeper.

“We’d better get a move on hadn’t we? We should try and get to the Snaefellsnes peninsular in time to find the guesthouse before dark shouldn’t we?”

My phone rang. “Who the hell is ringing me here?”

“This is the Reykjavik agent for Rickshaw” she said “I am sorry to inform you that the Kast has just told us they can’t provide dinner tonight. We have texted you a couple of alternatives on the peninsular.” Not good news for a timekeeper.

“Lets just walk up the hill” said Tessa.

We compromised on a walk halfway up the hill. That’s the way it is with us as travelling companions. It’s why it works so well.

I had to admit the view from the ‘not quite top’ were spectacular.

I’d been looking forward to the long drive through the stunning Dingvellir (thing…ve.. chicken sound.. ir) National Park. Completely different to the long, straight roads of the south coast we found ourselves ooing and ahhing at every turn. It was like driving through a National Geographic calendar. We were entranced by the golden, mossy mountains and Tessa’s favourite moss green and black. With the winding mountain road it was not easy to get photographs as we went. I did my best to steady my camera phone while Tessa navigated the bends saying “get that, get that.”

After the park the road straightened out. We spotted a lay-by and stopped. There was a minivan there already and a man was leaning on the fence explaining something to his passenger.

“Tessa this is the rift. We’ve found the rift. Look at that.”

By pure chance we’d stopped at the view point for the great continental rift. On one side Iceland, the other, the North American continent. There are places where rivers run along the rift and you can swim along the inside of it. Given more time it was something I’d have loved to do.

Iceland is in effect being slowly torn apart, by an inch each year. Sitting on top of the Atlantic ridge, the divergent band between the Eurasian and North American tectonic plates which are drifting in opposite directions, makes Iceland the volcanic earthquakey place it is. Not somewhere you can just stride out and go off piste for a walk for fear of falling down a crevasse, or plunging into boiling water. I find that impossibly thrilling. I was bitterly disappointed that the volcano that fired up recently near the airport, looking like the one below, stopped a couple of months before we arrived.

Black and Gold

At one point the landscape looked like an Edmund Hopper painting.

“Petrol?” I asked Tessa, aware it was something we should start thinking about.

“Hmm, I think we should get some next time we see a garage. What was the name of the one that gives us a discount?”

That became a bit theoretical as we sped down a slick new motorway, and under a tunnel towards Borgarnes on the west coast. There were still many miles to go to the peninsular and the Kast Guesthouse. We just weren’t seeing any garages let alone the right one and it was getting late. Borganes came up with a garage with a cafe and a shop and we decided we couldn’t be fussy.

“How do you open the tank?”

“Not sure, isn’t there a key or some kind of knob inside we can pull?”

We walked round and round the car and searched in the footwells. Nothing.

“Check the Guide” said Tessa. I groaned.

“Wouldn’t you think that it would be obvious, one of the first things in the book after how to start the car? Perhaps someone inside can help?”

I did the maths on the app.

“Oh my god. £80 for 3/4 of a tank?”

“Well at least they’ve got a loo. And we can get a croissant.”

We still hadn’t had lunch and it was nudging 4 o’clock. We browsed the shelves wondering about getting skyr, or something else. Instead we picked up a couple of free maps of the peninsular and browsed them over our hot chocolate and pastries. Tessa bought a weird chocolate bar with liquorice centre which we shared.

We set out with that sense of security you get from a full tank on a long drive.

“Maybe check out those restaurants online?” said Tessa “we might need to book.”

It was dark by the time we’d got onto the 54 which hugs the south coast of the Snaefellsnes peninsular. We were ravenous by then, regretting we hadn’t bought skyr at the garage and wondering if we’d even get to one of the restaurants, and would have to be satisfied with liquorice and the fruit bars we’d brought with us from home.

“There,” I said. “Over there. That looks like a restaurant. Let’s check it out.” It was in the middle of nowhere like the Bagdad Cafe. The Dreisam, lucky for us, was yet another place where they could feed vegetarians. The food was delicious.

The Kast was not easy to find in the pitch black. Our phone app was a bit confusing. We saw lights in the distance down a track.

“Bet that’s it,” I said. My intuition had worked well before. We turned off towards them.

The track was bumpy and we narrowly missed the edge of a tight little bridge. We pulled up at a well lit fish processing plant.

“What about further down there?” We bumped on further down the track.

A warm welcome from ‘reception’ at the Kast and someone to lead us with a torch to our block down the icy path would have been nice. We got a shrug and “down there.” Another place where the outside lights weren’t working. Our room was enormous, warm, and spotless like all the rooms so far and it had a kettle. Being so far ‘out there’ meant really dark skies and another possibility of seeing the Northern Lights. I stared out of the window. Was that a big mountain behind the hotel, or was it just incredibly dark?

I kept getting up and tiptoeing past Tessa’s bed to check. Nothing. Going outside to check meant putting on layers of clothes. I did it a couple of times. Another guy was outside doing the same. Nothing. I checked the Northern Lights app again. He was doing the same. They were near, we could both see they were near. It was unbelievably tantalising, but at some point so was sleep. We had a mountain shaped like an arrowhead and a expedition deep down in the earth along a lava tube to look forward to in the morning.

Day Four – Facing my Nemesis

Our alarms went off at 6. If I have to I’m pretty good at leaping out of bed at sparrow’s fart. The requested kettle still hadn’t arrived. I longed for a wake-up mug of hot jasmine tea and to take one to Tessa … I had an apology to make.

“Sorry about my foul mood last night, and all the swearing.” Tessa is a good person, a calm quaker and not one to hold a grudge. She was gracious as ever. I hoped that getting into the bathroom first and giving her a bit of snooze time would make up for my rant.

“There’s no hot water” I yelped hopping from foot to foot on the cold tiled floor trying not to swear. After a few minutes it came through. “Maybe it has to come all the way over from the main building too?”

Drangshild Guesthouse main building at dawn.

We could see a light on in the restaurant and walked over to have a quick breakfast at 7 o’clock. Some of the Italians were already stuck in. We were impressed with what as on offer and piled up fruit, hard boiled eggs, muesli, skyr, bread and cheese slices… best to line our stomachs well for what was to come. We had a date with the famous Reynisfjora black beach, a crashed plane on another beach near Vik and a glacier to reach by noon. Getting lost, missing the assembly time for the Glacier Discovery hike was not an option.

I have mixed history with glaciers. I tumbled down a rock glacier (think frozen Mars Bar cracking if it’s bent over)on the Charity Hike from Hell through the Alaskan wilderness 20 years ago. I stepped on an unstable rock and tumbled over and over propelled by a 50lb backpack that had been promised to be no more than 30. “Where is the lightweight trail food?” I’d asked the guide as I packed a bag of flour, dried tortellini and a pack of pop tarts. “Too expensive” she said. The memory of it still haunts me. Why, I wonder now, had I said “that’s a good idea” when David at Rickshaw suggested it as an alternative to Orca watching (which was just out of season).

“My turn to drive” I held out my hand for the keys.

“Are you sure? I’m happy to drive if you prefer?” By her own admission Tessa is, shall we say, a bit of a back seat driver.

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure now we’re on the open road I’ll soon get used to doing gears again. Foot on clutch to start yes?”

And off we set to the hideous sound of gears crashing and a couple of stalls.

“Oops, sorry.”

Turns out Reynisfjara black beach has a bit of a rep. We didn’t know that at the time. We read the warning notice and laughed at the expression: ‘sneaker’ waves. In June this year a foreign tourist, a 70 year old man, had gone into the sea and been snatched by one that snuck up on him. The man and his wife were part of an organised tour. (?!?****) His wife got caught up in the same wave but bystanders were able to catch her before she got sucked into the sea. He was helicoptered out of the sea but it was too late, it only takes a matter of seconds to die in seas this rough and cold. Another near drowning had happened only the day before when a man went in in his bathers and had to be rescued putting a lot of other people at risk. They wonder, how big do we have to make the sign?

We strode along the shore at a respectful distance. Fortunately I wasn’t remotely tempted to go for a dip, was careful to not turn my back on the waves and merely basked (as much as that is possible when it’s -5 with the wind chill) in the breathtaking beauty of acres of black sand, striking rock formations in the sea, basalt pillars and golden cliffs. (Check out Game of Thrones Season 10.)

IMG_3902

THE WAVES LOOK INNOCENT DON’T THEY?

The beach was so captivating we ran out of time to get to the other beach to see the Sólheimasandur plane wreck. Rickshaw Travel had suggested it as an extra to do, that it is ‘quite cool and surreal’, great for photos. Crashed planes are another reminder of the Charity Hike from Hell, and though everyone survived this crash (when the US Navy DC ran out of fuel in 1973) and the pilot of the rescue plane in Alaska, I wasn’t too sorry to give it a miss. Sólheimajókull Glacier at noon awaited.

We arrived with plenty time to spare and were relieved to see a row of portaloos in the car park. This ‘no stopping except at dedicated pull ins’ (which can be occupied) rule and the wide open landscapes are challenging in the chilly weather. We got to the loos before a coach party pulled in, ate our ‘breakfast leftovers’ and went over to the container van to check in. Our guide, a tall dark and handsome Greek, or was he Spanish(?), smiled and pointed to the piles of kit.

“Oh my god Tessa, look at those…I thought we’d just need crampons. Ice axes? Hard hats?”

I’d imagined we were going on a little hike, a snoop around the edges of the glacier learning about how they are formed, are dissolving, that kind of thing. Heaven knows what gave me that idea. A glacier hike is a glacier hike.

“This is how you put on the harness” said Zan holding one out “one leg in here, the other leg here.”

“Harnesses?” I looked alarmed. “Oh, I know, in case we need to be hauled up into a rescue helicopter” I joked. He grinned. I’d forgotten the possibility of falling down a crevasse. Sensibly he didn’t respond. We struggled into our harnesses and Zan came round and hoicked them up tighter. Good that we’d had time to go for a pee before we were all trussed up. No chance of getting out of those for a quick squat behind a rock.

“This is how you put on your helmets. You can put them on top of your hats.

“Helmets?” someone said.

“Lava rocks are very light. They can blow off the mountain in these winds and hit you on the head. Haven’t you noticed all the dents in cars in Iceland? Right, off to the glacier. Sólheimajókull means ‘home of the sun’ glacier, it’s an outlet of Myrdalsjokull which is the fourth largest in Iceland.”

The first part of the hike was rather depressing.

“The Glacier used to go all the way down to the car park and beyond ” said Zan “these icebergs are all that is left.”

“When we get onto the glacier you must all walk single file behind me, no wandering around.” I was perfectly happy to comply, he’d know the safe routes avoiding crevasses. I was very impressed by the whole operation and the care he was taking with us. There was a school kid who walked the glacier I went on in Alaska who fell down one. They sent rescuers down on ropes 200ft to look for him, then a camera a further 500ft. He was never found.

The guides do this clever thing when the glacier starts its winter freeze, blocking the streams that run through the crevasses with ice. This creates a solid bottom you can safely walk on to get an experience of the blue ice.

Glaciers aren’t the pristine white you’d expect. Especially when nearby volcanoes like Eyjafjallajokul pop off thousands of tons of ash over them. If they are covered by a thin layer of ash it can speed up the melting. A thick layer can do the opposite. Although it looked pristine white when we flew over it as we arrived, the glacier was actually a bit mucky.

Once again I was to learn that ‘giving it a go’ brings rewards. Since I nearly died of malaria when I was in my early thirties my default is to say ‘why not?’ to opportunities in life. Zan, unlike our guides on the Charity Hike from Hell, who caused our rescue plane to crash and led us up the wrong mountain, was incredibly well trained, experienced in the terrain and on the case if anyone needed help. He led us to the turquoise blue crevasse and a stream where we could drink the chilled purity of glacier water. It was magnificent.

We drove for a couple of hour to the Flúðir Guesthouse in Grund. It was near the Secret Lagoon, Gamma Laugin, where we planned to wallow in thermal waters.Unlike the big fancy Blue Lagoon near Reykjavik, that everyone has pictures of and that costs £70 a pop, the Secret Lagoon is a natural pool on the edge of the village costing a mere £13. It’s quieter than the Blue Lagoon, no fancy spa vibe. Before our trip I’d googled a comparison between the two. The person who wrote the piece I read was hard put to say which was best but reading between the lines he tilted in favour of the Secret Lagoon.

If I have a tiny criticism of the guesthouses, apart from the Klopp in Reykjavik, it’s that their welcome lacks, well, welcome. It’s kind of desultory and you feel a little as if your arrival is a bit annoying. If you actually find someone there to greet you that is and you don’t have to go looking. However our room at the Fludir was lovely and there were two options that looked good for a meal after a wallow.

“Is the Secret Lagoon near?” we asked at non-reception.

“You can see it. You can walk. It takes 10 minutes, or you can drive.”

We opted to drive. It had been an exhausting day.

The Lagoon steaming in the distance

Through the ages, it was a tradition to bathe in the thermal waters here in Grund. The first swimming lessons in Iceland were held at Gamla Laugin in 1909, and then every year until it fell into disuse in 1947. In the old days, people also used it for washing clothes, practical if a bit smelly I’d have thought. (Thermal waters have a sulphurous waft…it’s the sulphur that makes them so healing and good for the skin and rheumatics.)

In 2005, the pool was gradually reborn, but kept authentic. It celebrated its opening in June 2014. There are hot showers, in an open shared space, and lockers. On the walls are helpful posters informing you with big red circles the smelliest bits of your body to carefully wash and instructions that it must be done naked and with soap. It is a big no-no not to do this. Icelanders think we tourists are a bit yucky if we don’t. What I loved about this is that it meant young girls mingle with real women’s bodies, all ages and shapes. So healthy in an age where they are constantly exposed to perfect (mostly manipulated) images on TikTok.

The water was shoulder height on me, hotter at the edges. Place your ‘noodle’ right and you can float around totally relaxed looking at the sky.

We’d only just made it there in time before it closed at 7pm and wallowed about in total bliss for the recommended 20-25 minutes in water that was nudging 38-40deg I could have gone on for another hour at least.

“Have you noticed it’s getting hotter?” said Tessa. “Is that how they persuade us out?”

Tessa was happy to get out and enjoy the icy walk out of the pool and into the showers.

We staggered out of the changing rooms, drunk on heat and relaxation, to the eerie light from the greenhouses next to the lagoon. All that lovely free heat is used all over Iceland to grow the delicious salads we’d been eating since we arrived.

“I’m hungry” I said “do you fancy the Ethiopian restaurant?”

We found our way lit by our mobiles to the restaurant.

Iceland is full of surprises, and another foodie one was to find an Ethiopian restaurant in this little town miles from anywhere. What must it have been like for the lovely woman who married and Icelander to move here? How long did it take for her to adjust to the climate?

“Can I meet your wife?” I asked “may I take a photo?”

Minilik restaurant was yet again somewhere I could be vegetarian in Iceland and eat extremely well. I love Ethiopian food. For those of you unfamiliar it’s served on Injera, a soft, bubbly, fermented pancake-like flatbread made from teff flour. It has a very distinctive sourdough taste from the fermentation process and looks greyish. It could easily be mistaken for a dirty dishcloth and is an acquired taste I suppose. Dishes are laid out on the pancake in dollops and you tear bits off and scoop the food up into your mouth with it. We found it a delicious meal, our hosts were delightful, it was a perfect end to the day. Or it would have been if only Chelsea would make her mind up. We listened to the Archers latest episode as we settled down to sleep. Time was running out for her if she did decide on the abortion route. We could have done without the cliffhanger at bedtime night after night. ‘You have your whole life ahead of you Chelsea. For pity’s sake make your mind up.’ Would we even get the answer before the end of the trip?

Day Three – The Incredible Foss of Nature

Skogarfoss, Skogar Waterfall

Sometimes I think I travel to remind myself how small I am, a mere pipsqueak on the planet with less relevance than a grain of sand. I love volcanoes, deserts, wilderness, mountains, raging seas and waterfalls. Skogarfoss, a short diversion off the south west Golden Circle route, was filled with the possibility of that tingle. Back home in Stroud I’d managed to track down a friend of a friend who lived on an island off the south coast of Iceland for a couple of years, “what’s unmissable?” I asked.

“Skogarfoss,” she said “it’s easy to find, there should be a sign to it off your route.”

We had a long drive in prospect but it was on our way to Skogar anyway where the next guesthouse, the Drangshlid (for those Ds pronounce a ‘th’), within range of the black beach, and right by the Folk Museum. It was going to be another day packed with adventure but hey we had all day – or we would have if we’d set off in the right direction. We were on the right number road, Tessa was doing really well driving on a motorway again (I felt terribly guilty but still thought it best to keep shtum ). It was a little while before we realised we were headed north not south. We found an industrial estate to pull into, take a breath, look at the map and turn around.

Stopping by the side of the road in Iceland, unless at specifically designated pull ins, is illegal. Apart from the slick new motorways getting you in and out of Reykjavik the roads are two lanes wide, with drop offs either side and completely stunning National Geographic views all around. Without that law the roads would be full of people slamming on the brakes and taking photos. We had to make good with a lot of moving car photos. “Take that,” said Tessa and I’d try to hold my phone steady enough to get a shot. But we appreciated that because of that law and the moderate speed limit (90kph/55mph at the most) the roads are pretty much a dream to drive on, well maintained and very safe. (Which is more than I can say for Stroud, whose council borrowed a lot of money from Iceland back in the day before the crash and we’ve been paying for it in bust tyres and wrecked suspension ever since.) We had been worried about icy roads and the possibility of snow, it’s a risk you have to factor in if you go when when there’s a chance to see the Northern Lights – but look at the sky in this car picture. It was our luck that, although windy, we set out in gorgeous clear sunshine.

First sighting of geysers

“Geysers, Tessa, look.” Nothing like a geyser to get the blood flowing.

Once we were on the right track it wasn’t long before picked up the Golden Circle road. It was a relief when, after a few hours, we saw the sign to the Skogar Folk Museum. I ran in ahead of Tessa “Hello do you have any loos? Oh, are you Icelandic?” he had to be with that red beard “am I saying this right – Eyjafjallajökull?”

“Not really” he said and rattled it off. I tried again. “Better.”

Tessa and I ate fruit bars we’d brought with us from home and browsed the museum. (Sneaking a sandwich from breakfast hadn’t worked. After the two busy days in Reykjavik we’d slept too late and we’d arrived at breakfast just as they were clearing it away.) I loved the coils of ropes, saddles, a wooden ‘washing tub’ with a kind of rocking paddle to churn it – I lusted after the rows and rows of wooden spoons but I was itching to get outside and look at the reconstructed badstofas.

Wash tub and mangle

I’d recently read the prize winning book by Australian Hannah Kent based on a true story. Burial Rites tells the story of Agnes Magnúsdóttir (I can’t believe it took me all these years to cotton onto the fact everyone from here is either a dottir or a sson). Agnes, Magnus’s dottir, was a servant in northern Iceland in the 1800s who was condemned to death after the murder of two men, one of whom her employer. She was the last woman put to death in Iceland. Agnes was imprisoned in a badstofa with an understandably reluctant family in winter until she was tried. That seemed like an unusual arrangement to say the least. She was found guilty, beheaded and her head stuck on a stake. Here was a chance to see what a badstofa (traditional dwelling) looked like both inside and out to get a feel for that life.

Skogasafn Folk Museum. Badstofa with red roofed schoolhouse in the distance.

The row of badstofas look cosy from the outside tucked up as they are in living turf. But remember the winters are long, dark and freezing cold in Iceland.

Imagine being stuck inside with an unwelcome guest, thought to have murdered two men, in a remote badstofa. The legal system wasn’t exactly in a rush. Things might get a little bit tense spending all winter stuck inside your badstofa in normal circumstances, let alone with a murderess who fascinates one of your daughters. Knitting needles might clack rather more loudly, pots of skyr be thrown. But maybe not. Food would have been too precious to throw.

Outside at last I had a chance to snoop around the row of badstofas and see what life was really like in the 1800s.

I guess you’d want an entrance that keeps out the elements.

And a quiet place in the window near the light to read and write your poems. There aren’t many books published in Icelandic – the population is too small for publishers to bother – I understand it’s a land of poets and spoken sagas instead.

You’d need to be near the light to spin enough wool for all those jumpers.

And maybe send your dottirs early to bed to do a bit more spinning and wool winding.

If it all got too much you could go to the stable and sulk with the horses or sheep.

Or churn a bit of skyr.

Behind the row of badstofa’s we found little houses and a schoolroom that were presumably from the 1900s.

They were obviously able to make babies despite the lack of privacy. I bet they were glad of that potty on a chill night in December.

Schoolhouse

Such was the fascination of the museum it was almost four o’clock by the time we reached Skogarfoss, a short hop from the museum. We stopped at Mia’s adorable fish and chip van.

“He’s closing Tessa, but he’ll stay open for us if you like? What do you think?” It was getting late, nudging 4 o’clock, we decided we’d better go on to the Foss.

We soon forgot our hunger when we saw the Skogarfoss falls. It’s really hard to avoid cliches at this point. So I won’t even try. It was awesome, breathtaking, stunning and not remotely tempting to try and find the legendary chest of gold hidden behind it. Normally I can’t look at a body of water anywhere without thinking ‘oo that looks nice for a dip’. Not there. You’d be thrashed to death by a foss that powerful and this wasn’t even during the spring melt. Imagine. We put our waterproof over-trousers on and got as close as we dared.

Excuse the thumb. Computer says no, can’t edit the video.

We wanted to do at least some of the waterfall walk, a 45 mile hike to Prosmork along the side of the river running into the fall passing several smaller falls with glaciers either side. We reached the top and drew breath. There’s a natural law. Most people only stray 100 ft or so from their cars. As we thought the crowds thinned out and we set off along the path at the top. I just discovered another reason it was so crowded (apart from its beauty) it was one of the locations for filming Game of Thrones. Most people got to the top took a selfie or ten and went back down again. We set off and walked past a couple of other smaller falls, but sadly it wasn’t going to be a long walk for us. The light was already fading and I didn’t fancy those metal steps down in the dark.

Hunger and step fatigue got the better of me as the sun began to set over the fall. We still had to find our way to the Drangshild Guesthouse and we’d only eaten a fruit bar since our rather minimal breakfast and we’d not even got to the black beach.

“How about we get up really early tomorrow and go to the beach and the basalt cliffs first thing?” I said. Tessa was up for that.

As we turned out of the car park it was almost dark and very cold. I saw lights in the distance. “What’s that over there?”I said. “Looks like it might be a restaurant? Shall we check it out?”

Hotel Skogarfoss looked very posh. We waddled in in our soggy layers and asked if we could see the menu.

“Oh my god look at this? Vegetarian lasagne.” I did a quick calculation on my currency conversion app.

I had my second experience of being fed really well as a vegetarian in Iceland. Tessa had fish.

“I don’t care what it costs” I said. “Let’s do it.”

We arrived around 8pm at the Drangshild and saw through the window that the dinning room was packed. We couldn’t make ourselves heard at reception. After a while we gave up and found our way to the dining room to ask if we could check in. The manager looked embarrassed.

“I am so sorry we have no a la carte left” he said “we had a large group of Italians arrive by coach.”

“We already ate” said Tessa. He looked distinctly relieved. .

“I’ll take you to your room. It’s not in the main building.” He led us outside to a separate block. We were desperate for a cup of tea. Our room was very new and smart but bare.

“No sign of a kettle?” I flapped my Earl Grey Tea bag.

“Nope.”

Which was when I got very sweary again. We were both tired and cross and missing that small comfort. It felt like we’d been overridden by a coach load of unexpected guests and given a raw deal. The main building was warm and had a place to make yourself hot drinks.

“I’ll go and ask for a kettle” I said. The outside light wasn’t working. I slipped on the icy decking, more swearing, and made my way over to the main guesthouse. I asked for a kettle. Poured two mugs of hot water which was tepid by the time I got back to our room. We set our alarms for 6, I rubbed the damp off the windows and scanned the sky for lights. Nothing. My bed felt cold. I wished I’d done the sensible thing and brought a hot water bottle like Tessa.

Blown Away in Reykjavik – Ray-kia-veek

First sighting of Iceland, ice crystal on the window.

I’ve always thought it against nature to get up in the dark. 3am tested Tessa and me as we obeyed the alarm, downed our instant porridge and scrambled out of the Premier Inn Gatwick to catch a 6am flight to Reykjavik. We’d spent the night before listening to the Archers and watching ‘Have I Got News for You.’ Would Chelsea get an abortion? Would Truss see sense and stand down? I fell asleep imagining the emails the PM’s mother might be sending her: “Lizzie Darling, just come home…”

“Look Tessa, a glacier” I woke and gazed out of the frosted window of the EasyJet plane at a 3D contour map of Iceland. “There’s nothing there,” I said “can’t even see any roads.” The plane bumped down just after 9am. Half an hour of paperwork later we set out to search for our Suzuki Jimini (whatever that was). The minute the arrivals doors opened we were buffeted by the ferocious wind.

People who have been to Iceland are often glassy eyed about it. They mention its spectacular landscapes, whales, the Northern Lights, traffic free roads, glaciers, the Penis Museum, but no one, not a soul mentioned wind. Rain was predicted for most of the week and we’d packed for that, but wind? Nary a whisper to warn us. I understood snow would be a possibility (as it is almost any time of year) but I assumed that like most sensible countries they had plans for that. Tessa was sceptical. “It’s the law that they have to use winter tyres from October” I reassured her.

We battled our way to the furthest end of hire car parking lot where the Budget cars were parked. “Is this it?” said Tessa checking the numberplate, “this?” We stared with dismay at the little white jeep. It looked distinctly unstable for windy conditions. While Tessa battled to open the back door I chased my bobble hat which had been snatched off my head and was making its way back to arrivals.

“There’s no room for our suitcases in the boot area” said Tessa when I got back “see if the back seats slide forwards.” They didn’t. We tried manoeuvring our cases onto the back seats through the front doors. The only doors. It was worse than manoeuvring a truculent toddler and toddlers don’t weigh 10k+.

“This is hopeless” we agreed. “There’s nowhere to hide our luggage,” said Tessa “lets see if there’s something else.”

By 11 o’clock, our first morning in Reykjavik ticking away, Tessa who’d generously agreed to be the first to drive us in and out of Reykjavik (it’s two years since I’ve driven a manual and I thought it best to relearn on the open road) was trying to find how to start the Vitara. I scanned a huge guide I found in the glove compartment. “Wouldn’t you think ‘how to start the car’ would be easily found?” I said. We tried every which way.

Luckily a man arrived to collect the car parked next to us. “Try keeping your foot down on the clutch, then turn the key,” he advised. Bingo.We were off…on what looked remarkably like a motorway into central Reykjavik. Tessa doesn’t drive on motorways. “It’s Ok, “I’d said “Iceland doesn’t have any.” I kept quiet. Better not to say anything and spook her. Perhaps she wouldn’t notice?

Our phones refused to talk to the car system, and weren’t up to date with all the one way streets consequently we had a frustrating half hour driving around one way streets trying to find the multi story by our hotel which we knew was near but couldn’t get to. There was a horrible moment when, stopping to ask directions, my car door was snatched out of my hands by the wind and banged a bollard hard. Only after checking for dents I saw the sign on the window advising you wind down the window first in strong winds and use two hands to open the door. This seems like a great tip even for here.

It was a huge relief when we spotted the hotel and multi storey and drove straight down a slope to the basement and stopped. Tessa wanted to reverse to adjust our parking. Could either of us find reverse? On every attempt the car slid dangerously closer to the wall, at one point with me braced between car and wall to stop it crashing into it. We re-examined the angle we were parked at. “Looks fine anyway,” we agreed.

The Klopp Central Hotel in the old town, lived up to its description (thank you David at Rickshaw Travel) we couldn’t have been better placed. What’s more, Miro on reception not only explained how to get into reverse but also that there was cheaper parking on the street a short hop away. I put on a few extra layers to combat the wind, closed all the windows Tessa, who loves the cold, had opened and at last around noon we set out to explore.

Reykjavik makes up for its surrounding spectacular, snowy mountain landscape with a riotous paintbox of colours on its little houses. Most are faced with galvanised metal, many are decorated with fabulous graffiti. Every turn in the Old Town was a delight and had views down to the harbour, across to the mountains and up to the Hallgrimskirkja, that tall pointy church iconic to Reykjavik.

We had ideas of where we wanted to go: the jumper shop, the tall pointy church, Bakari Sandholt, (mouth watering review in the Lonely Planet guide), Sundhollm Spa with an outdoor thermal pool, the National Museum, The Old Harbour, the Penis Museum, the Harpa concert hall, and (particularly important to Tessa who loves brutalist architecture)Reykjavik Art museum: Kjarvallsstdir. Everything turned out to be within walking distance give or take 22,000 steps and quite a bit of getting lost. Checking the flimsy map in those winds was a pantomime palaver and my Icelandic pronunciation was clearly way off. You try Snaefellnes…the double ll in the middle has to have a clucking sound like a chicken, just to confuse those of us who know a little Welsh pronunciation where the double ll sounds like you are clearing your throat of phlegm.

As it happened the Icelandic jumper shop turned out to be just round the corner from the hotel. For years I’ve had a dream of owning one inspired by all those Scandi Noir dramas I watch on Walter Presents. I factored in the expense when I booked the holiday.

I gazed at the billowing piles of them and asked an assistant “did you knit some of these?” “Ah yes,” she said “I go home at night. I knit. Imagine, an entire life revolving around these gorgeous jumpers. Tall women looked stunning in them, but no matter how badly I wanted one they looked absolutely rubbish on me. I’m too short to carry them off. Besides, although they looked so soft, they were incredibly itchy. “Ah well,” I sighed, “I’ve just saved myself £300.”

Bakari Sandholt, our laudably frugal choice for lunch.
Bakeoff Perfection
First sighting of the pointy church.
Hallgrims church
Hallgrimskirkja

The priapic Hallgrimskirkja, dominating the top of town, is every bit as imposing as it looks in the picture. Built originally in 1945 its buttresses of concrete columns represent the basalt cliffs prevalent in Iceland. We may have staggered around like drunks in the wind, but to see it on such a sunny day set against puffy clouds was an unexpected bonus. Tessa loves stark, and stark it was in a magnificent way.

Mira at the hotel had been dismissive about the National museum “they don’t have much, and make a lot of what they do have.” Perhaps that was why no-one seemed to know where it was. Mind, it was difficult to find anyone actually from Reykjavik to ask. When we eventually got there I had to partly agree with Miro…see one metal stirrup, see them all, but I loved the reconstruction of life in a Badstofa (country dwelling of old), and Tessa loved it and especially enjoyed the intricate wooden carvings on crosses and bedheads.

Badstofa (interior of a dwelling past century)

We had a background worry all day that our Northern Lights boat trip booked for the evening would be cancelled and thought it best to go to the Elding Office to check at the harbour to check. Our fears were confirmed. “Sorry ladies it’s too rough. Probably the Whale Watching trip in the morning will be cancelled as well. I will call you tonight.” Our faces fell. Hadn’t I come to Iceland specifically in October to see the lights? “But you could go on a minivan trip to see the lights if you like? Our men know where to find them. I’ll see if there are spaces…you are in luck. Wear plenty of clothes.”

On the way back up to the Klopp we picked up a slice of pizza for dinner and ate it while we listened to the Archers. (They are still keeping us on pins about Chelsea.) I piled on more layers: merino wool vest, long sleeve tee shirt, wool polo neck, jumper, gilet, raincoat, wooden long johns under my trousers. At 8 we set out in plenty of time to find the mini van pick-up spot at 9pm and promptly got lost again. With 9 o’clock ticking ever closer, trying to follow directions on Tessa’s phone, we ended up following my instinct of where it might be and joined a long queue. We piled into Gunnar’s van with a dozen or so other people and set off to search for the lights.

It takes a lot of patience to see the Northern Lights unless you are incredibly lucky. Gunnar drove us here and there, stopping every now and then to park up and look. And look. We all rubbed condensation off the windows and scanned the skies around us searching for a sign in the dark sky. Gunnar kept calling his boss. We moved on, and on again. Gunnar kept us entertained with tales of Icelandic folk lore (children are threatened with getting an old potato from Father Christmas if they’ve been naughty) and with handouts of hot chocolate and cinnamon buns and subtle hints that we might not get lucky. A self educated, well travelled Icelander he quoted Dickens, Wuthering Heights and recommended various books – yet his day job was police dog training. Iceland is full of poets I understand. There is scant literature in Icelandic…the market is too small.

We wound up bouncing off road down a track in the middle of deserted heathland somewhere near the south coast, maybe near Grindavik, and piled out to shelter from the wind behind some abandoned buildings. I was thrilled, it couldn’t have been more Icelandi Noir if it tried. At last, quarter to midnight, just when Gunnar was about to give up, we saw a patch of lightening sky. “Check with your phones” said Gunnar “if you have an iPhone 12 and up you will see the lights in a photo before they become visible with the naked eye.” He was right. There they were. As we watched they got brighter and brighter and we could clearly see them with the naked eye. Ok, not the most spectacular showing with ribbons and folds and patches of pink, red and purple, but we saw them. Plenty of people come to Iceland and never see them. They are random. 90% of the time they are just green. They can last for hours or only minutes. Ours lasted for about an hour fading gradually. We watched, we froze and we probably bored half the minivan occupants waiting till the last fade.

“I can’t believe it” I said to Tessa “on our first night. We actually saw them.”

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The red colouring on the heath is from the tail lights, running to keep the less intrepid inside the van warm.

A journey to the skinny bit in the middle

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“You’ll need a fleece.”

“A fleece?”  Tessa looked at me, baffled.

“You know, a fleece?  You do have a fleece don’t you?” She didn’t, and wasn’t sure what one was (but she is my unfailingly classy friend).  I’d looked up weather in Costa Rica for our immanent trip: San Jose the capital and Monteverde Cloud Forest areas predicted a week of thunderstorms and heavy rain. Tortuguero on the Atlantic coast didn’t feature on my weather app, nor did Corcovado in the far south on the Oso peninsular.  So, a real adventure then, into app-unknown territory.

“Better pack our umbrellas,” I said, “and some walking trousers and boots”. I was remembering my last visit to a rainforest, in Thailand, where leeches lay in wait, waving up from the leaf litter like little brown shoots.  Clever little brown shoots that are also able to lurk up trees,  detect the carbon dioxide in your out-breath and drop on you from above. I’d watched with horror as they tried to wiggle in through the loose weave of my Bangkok hippy trousers, and the sarong I was using as an ‘umbrella’. I lasted less than 24 hours before I fled for a beach.

“I thought I’d wear my white linen trousers” said Tessa.

“I think we’d better make a trip to Cotswold Outdoor” I said, moving on down the list from Rickshaw Travel, noting to self to pack my snake bite kit (which is at least 20 years old and I don’t actually have a clue how you use it, but the bit of string and blade look handy)) and an extra supply of anti mozzie lotion.

Tessa met me at Cotswold a few days later.  She’d brought her friend Barbara, another Fine Artist, along.  Barbara agreed linen trousers would be perfect in the heat “nice and loose and cool.”

Loose trousers?  In the jungle.  White?  “The list says you see more birds and animals in muted colours,” I said.

The shop was full to the gunnels with ski wear, it was, after all, December.  No thin fleeces, no muted long sleeved cotton shirts, but a distractingly lovely rack of down coats on sale. Tessa didn’t like the look of any of the walking trousers.

“I think what you need is a cashmere cardigan” said Barbara. Tessa’s eyes lit up.

“But….” and I gave up.

So it was with great relief when Tessa arrived at my cottage , on the morning of our departure, in a pair of walking trousers, boots and thin grey fleece, and unloaded a funky zebra patterned suitcase.

Settled on our beds in the Gatwick Marriott we ate our sandwiches, watched the news, listened to the Archers and turned in at nine ready for an early start in the morning.

 

An inclement proposal

Letting down her hair

Bianca was at the door. I smelt her as soon as I opened it: rose and lavender with a hint of mothballs. Rose was that day’s theme. A floaty chiffon scarf around her shoulders, rose coloured. A gauzy print dress, rose patterned on deep purple, the asymetric hem falling  in as yet unfashionable waves. All topped off with a large straw hat encircled with faded silk roses, crowning shining plaited coils of fox red hair.

Purple was the background theme of my childhood, much favoured by members of The Order of the Cross. Their scriptures, invented in the 1930s and 40s by the Reverend J.Todd Ferrier (‘Our Friend’) were heavy tomes covered in …purple damask. Order members were all pacifists and vegetarian. On Sundays at the Sanctuary (an upstairs room above my father’s surgery) my parents and their friends, fellow members, would in turn transmogrify into preachers, cloaked in soft purple satin robes. During the long and incomprehensible services, with wheezing hymns pumped out on an organ, I watched the coils of incense rise. I listened to the caged budgies in Gloucester park opposite, and felt the hard rush seats barcode my bare thighs and dreamt of escape and the nut roast for lunch.

Bianca was just one of the colourful characters of my childhood, where a FatherMother was worshiped instead of god, Christ was ‘The Master’ and where angels hovered everywhere. Androgynous pictures of them in floaty garments hung over my parents’ beds. A Guardian Angel, I learnt, was always there to protect me. (A dangerous idea for an adventurous child addicted to the Famous Five books). Bianca, of all the members of The Order, transfixed me. She sits here by my desk. A little cloth sculpture by a fellow member. Her hands are suspended in front of her chest; the knitting needle pins that held a tiny ball of wool have fallen out of them long ago. Her neck is broken and her head would lol onto her chest without the strip of masking tape that holds it up, so you can see the coils around her head. Nevertheless she is every last stitch the Bianca I knew.

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A ‘grunge’ dresser long before the word was invented, before charity shops existed, she would trawl jumble sales to assemble her outfits; topping them off with gaudy paste broaches. She already seemed ancient when I knew her – but then most grownups did. By the hairs on her chin, and freckled arms, she must have been in her mid 50s or 60s when my five year old self opened the door to her.

In ‘reduced circumstances’, I believe Bianca lived in a grace and favour caravan in the woods next to Resthaven, an old people’s home near Stroud. On Wednesdays she would take the 56 bus from Pitchcombe to our house in Gloucester to help my mother with the ironing. Ours was a busy doctor’s household. In school holidays there would be shirts for four brothers and my father to iron, whilst my mother fed sheets through a rotary iron. But on quieter visits, when my big, rowdy, messy brothers were all away at boarding school, I would have quality time with Bianca. I would be ready for her with a little hoard of gold coloured hairpins clasped in my hand, pins that she had shed around the house the previous visit. Pins that held the coils in place.

Taking a break from the singeing hot kitchen, Bianca would retreat to the cool of the downstairs cloak room, which smelt of damp woollen coats and air-wick loo freshener.  There she would indulge me by letting down her hair. Hair that when released fell heavily down to her ankles in fiery Rumplestiltskin waves from the plaiting. She brushed and brushed it till it shone and crackled letting me feel it’s silky softness. How I envied that hair. My brother Ian once found me sobbing in front of the slightly foxed bathroom mirror after the savage haircut my mother favoured. “No one will marry me now” I wailed. It became the family joke for a while, making me blush to my roots each time it was mentioned.

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I asked Bianca one day “Did you ever have a fiancee? Didn’t you want to marry?”

“Oh dearie me. What a question. Well as a matter of fact I almost did. He was an emperor and a king you know.” My eyes widened. “Black and beautiful and his chest was covered with gold medals and chains. A neat silver beard – oh he was so handsome. “

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Emperor Haile Selassie

Emperor (and self appointed King) Haile Selassie was exiled during World War II to Bath, in the West of England. She told me that at the time she was a companion to *Lady Macaulay and often attended elegant social events with her. Presumably it was at one of these events she met Selassie. I found this picture of her in fancy dress. She stands on the far right, hair not yet ankle length, but well on the way.  I imagine him transfixed, like I was, by her long red plait, and graceful bearing.

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“He proposed to me darling, and gave me a black-stoned ring. I had to turn him down. He was King of Ethiopia. It’s very hot there. I didn’t think the sun would suit my complexion.”

Many years later, when I was in my 30s, it fell to my mother to clear out Bianca’s  possessions when she died. A kindly duty she often did for friends and one I was always eager to help with because who knows what treasure might be unearthed? Bianca had ended her days in a high ceilinged, but small room in Faithful House in Cheltenham. A home for elderly nurses who were on their uppers. The staff were rather keen for a quick and thorough clear out, she had piles of suitcases in her room and in their storage. I searched every little faded box, tissue paper screw and suitcase for that ring. I didn’t find it. Perhaps she gave it back? What I did find, however, was pure gold. In a long box, wrapped in tissue, tied at each end with a pale blue satin ribbon, was folded a fox red plait.

 

*A Wiki search for information on a Lady Macaulay has sadly revealed nothing.  However I did find this woman, a writer, Dame Rosa Macaulay, whose home was completely destroyed in the blitz. Might she have fled to Bath at that time? She too was drawn to deeper spiritual dimensions. Macaulay was never a simple believer in “mere Christianity”; her writings reveal a more complex, mystical sense of the divine. Her unusual take on Christianity would have been right up Bianca’s street, she would have made a perfect companion. Like Bianca she too was a pacifist and between wars was a sponsor of the pacifist Peace Pledge Union, until she recanted in 1940, after her home was flattened perhaps?

I want to believe this is the Macaulay that Bianca companioned in Bath.  Who could not resist someone who writes this memorable first line from her book The Towers of Trebizond: ‘”Take my camel, dear”, said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass.’

 

 

Pictishwoman gets her placard out for Trump

On Friday 21st January 2017  I shared on Facebook:

“It’s like when a close relative dies.  You half wake and it’s a good day, a normal day.  And then you remember….It’s the worst reality show ever. (Or ever, ever, as Trump would say).”

I spent the day on a ‘craft project’ and kneading bread. The bread rose exceptionally well.

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Grannies against Trump

Next morning, Saturday 22nd January,  if not literally painted in wode, I rose fired with enthusiasm, shining out my inner wode, in Pictishwoman mode.  I travelled with friends to Bristol to share the love, communality, humour and determination of 1000 women, partners, children, grannies and babies because I had to add my voice.  I had to say this is not normal.  He is not normal.  Times are not normal.  But together we are strong and we won’t be silent.
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Knowing I was joining with millions of women all over the world,  made me feel just a little bit better.  I had to be with the truth tellers.  People who can count, and do count in more ways than one.  Who see black and know it is black.  Who see white and know it is white and won’t be told otherwise.  But don’t misinterpret this.  We know  a ‘race’ is something you run and is otherwise completely irrelevant to our friendships .Who know a combover con when we see one, and come on, really, we couldn’t give a fig about the size of your genitals Mr Precident (yes I meant that spelling).  As  one banner said ‘Melania, Blink if you need Help’.

Pictish Woman

Pictish Woman

Taking Liberties in New York

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Staten Island Ferry Port

Can it really be so hard to find a slice of genuine New York cheesecake in New York?

Buoyed by the prospect of a free sail-by of the Statue of Liberty, I headed south again, down to the Staten Island Ferry.  I couldn’t help congratulating myself that despite rubbish forward planning I’d already seen a fair proportion of my ‘musts’ on the tourist trail: the Flatiron, Greenwich Village, Ground Zero and Wall Street.  Curiously, I hadn’t seen a single power dressed businesswoman striding out in trainers (or what we call ‘daps’ around here).  Perhaps New York women are over that fashion, or did I read it’s coming around again with trainers that cost near on £200 a pop?

Acutely aware that my possible ‘date’ for the evening, Bernt, hadn’t called , I hunted around the cafes in the ferry terminal. ‘Why would he call?’ I kept reminding myself.  He doesn’t know me from Eve, I’m just ‘another nifty aunt from nowhere’ (my eldest brother Michael’s expression when introduced, aged about 7, to yet another of my mother’s friends.  That was how it was in the 50s. He probably felt we had enough natural aunts already, what with Grumpy Helen, Posh Helen, Mamie, Peggy, Eileen, Margot, Margaret and Mildred.  So what if he didn’t call?  I could always seize my courage and make my way to the Duplex Bar.

I guess a ferry terminal is not the best place to source a genuine New York cheesecake.  It’s not often I eat half a cake.  I’m more a have-my-cake-and-eat-it person, and worry about the pounds tomorrow.  Be warned, don’t waste your money on what looks like very nice cheesecake there.  If anyone can recommend where to buy the genuine article I would be so grateful.  Better still, since it might take me a while to return, I’d appreciate a recipe. I want to match my memories of the cheesecake I used to buy when I was flat sharing in the Cromwell Road in London in the 1960s.  It was the lightest, slightly lemony, most crumbly taste of heaven, not a hint of the cloying stodge I chucked with a heavy clunk,in the terminal bin.

The ferry was packed to the gunnels, except that instead of guns the side decks were crammed with tourists.  Being short and, yes, nifty, I’m pretty adept at worming my way to the front of crowds.   I soon had a good position, if a bit hemmed in by hugely enthusiastic Chinese neighbours, taking selfies and shuffling around like penguins to each get a shot with a New York backdrop. Security had been tolerably lax getting on the ferry, but I was amused to see that we were accompanied by outriders in true western style, but in a speedboat, complete with machine gunner at the fore.  It occurred to me that if there was some kind of trouble  it could be a pretty confusing and messy outcome, but that’s life post 9/11.

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At Staten Island we all disembarked and re-queued for the return ferry.  Coming back we passed closer to Lady Liberty, who was looking spectacular in the glowering storm light, which only enhanced the green of her copper. This may seem incredibly naive to Americans, but I didn’t realise she was so big.  So big that if you are feeling energetic, and if you’ve sensibly booked in advance, not only can you climb up 354 steps inside her to her hat (which it is a kind of viewing platform) you can even climb into her newly renovated 24 carat gold plated torch handle.  She is the inspiration of Frederic-Auguste Bartholdi, a French sculptor.  Frustrated by the lack of liberty at home he thought ‘Damn it,’ (or something like that, ‘Zut Alors’ maybe?) ‘I’ll make a statue called Liberty and give it to the Americans, they appreciate what liberty is all about, and who knows, perhaps we’ll get it here one day.’  At the time it was the largest metal statue ever constructed.  Her big toe alone could sleep a large man and a close friend.  The words on the base say “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” (Certain elements of the US Government might like to remember that.)

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Lady Liberty, with spooky plane flying past her

And just as I’m taking pictures and marvelling at Liberty, and being squished by Chinese, my phone goes off, with the sound of a nightingale.  They like that.

“Oh! Bernt!  Pardon?  What did you say…I’m on the ferry.  No, the FERRY.  You can?  Tonight?  That’s fantastic, so kind of you.  Six?  Oh dear, I may have a bit of a struggle…. Where did you say? What was that?  Where?”  The sun comes out and picks out a building reflecting my renewed hope for the evening.

IMG_5514I bought with me a little strapless polka dot number, á la Sex in the City style in case such an occasion should occur, and some little strappy heels.  But there I was on the ferry, miles from the apartment, dishevelled, blistered and a bit stinky from a day walking around the city.  I really wanted to go back to the AirBnB to take a chance on the overly-shared bathroom being free so I could tart myself up for the night.  If Bernt was going to have this nifty aunty foisted on him, I did at least want to scrub up and not embarrass him…I’d heard he was a pretty stylish fellow.  I panicked.   It was already 4.30 and I hadn’t yet faced the subway, but it was clear to me that I was going to have to.

I had wondered when Francis told me the subway was “complicated” and there wasn’t much point in explaining it, why?  I soon found out.  I’m an intelligent woman, much travelled, and fairly savvy in foreign parts.  I could not work it out.  I wasted a precious 15 minutes trying to get a ticket for starters, until I found the one native who wasn’t in a hurry who gave me a bit of a hand. (Bless you, I hope you read blogs about New York.)   But once I got underground  I was completely stumped.  I’d like to tell our moron mayor of London, who is considering getting rid of all the staff booths on the London Underground, to please go to the New York subway, without any minders, and find his way from Staten Island ferry port to Chelsea.  He won’t find maps, they don’t seem to exist.  Ha, we’ll see if you change your mind then, Boris.  I went up, then down, and across, getting more and more panicked and flustered like a proper old lady.  It was hot, and dark, and garaffitied and scuzzy and totally confusing and I kept remembering my Enneagram teacher’s son who was shot for no reason on the subway.  I yearned for a nice simple map like our underground map.  I was near to tears, wondering if that was how my life would end up, bumping around the subway, lost, hot, tired and hungry, till dementia set in.   Then an angel appeared, on two sticks, thin,  greasy grey hair, limping painfully, a sheen of sweat on her brow.  “You lost honey?”  I could have kissed her.  She limped her way to the platform across from the one where she was catching a train, and showed me which train to take.  Only when I’m on it did I realise it actually wasn’t.  Not really her fault, she did her best.    I took another another: that wasn’t right either.

By five thirty I was totally fraught, and realised the only way out was up.  Above ground I established which way was north and started walking, intermittently taking calls from Bernt, and catching only the odd word because the traffic and the sound of people talking on their mobiles was too loud. He was trying to telling me the name of the restaurant.  Finally, in a side street I found a spot quiet enough to catch it: Gene’s.  All hope of freshening up for the evening lost, I swallowed my pride and hailed a taxi.  Would I make it in time?

The man who invented snow: New York here I come.

People ask me what I do.  I say ‘I’m a writer’.  By which I mean I have an incredibly clean oven, the loo seat that used to slew off sideways when I sat down is now fixed, and the water butt that was banging around the garden in the recent storms is back in place, if somewhat leaky. Oh yes, when you are a writer the sourdough rises.

So, New York.  Just writing those words revives the feelings I first had when I decided to finally go.  To face my nemesis, my almost lifelong ambition.    I wanted the art.  I wanted the culture, and I wanted to make myself enter a world completely different from mine and know I could not only survive, but enjoy it.  Yet that one fact hung over me still.  The son of one of my teachers when I studied the Enneagram in California, was shot, for no reason, on the subway in New York.  I figured I could deal with rude natives (as it was rumoured here in anally politeBritain).  But what if I got lost? Wandered into the ‘wrong’ neighbourhood?   I was a mere three hour train ride from the city, ticket paid for, accommodation booked.  It wasn’t a fantasy any more, it was tomorrow’s challenge and whilst the noises were encouraging, there were some eyebrows being raised at the huge gathering of Jane’s relatives in Lexington when someone mentioned my plan.

“Wow, on your own eh?”

“Well good for you.”

“Oh you’ll be just fine” seemed to be the consensus   But then , “where did you say you were staying?”

IMG_5416Having inspected the walk-in wardrobe the size of my sitting room footprint and some. I could tell these people were not likely to pitch up in a hostel.  Certainly not since Uncle Phil (Tropeano, now 91) did a little experiment one day.  He was an agricultural engineer, trying to make a machine that would make fog (to cool vegetables) and whoopty-do came up with the first snow machine.

Phil and his brother impressed me greatly.  I want to grow old the way they  have, and at 91 and 90 I have a few years to practice.    Here’s Eddie texting his girlfriend in the old people’s home where he lives,  a picture of his cocktail.  How cool is that for a nonagenarian?  He has a plan, that worries the family slightly, to buy an RV so he can drive out to the coast in the mornings and have breakfast watching the ocean.  I can understand that, he used to be a Techie guy in Falmouth, Cape Cod.  I bet he misses the breeze.

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Uncle Eddie, texting his girlfriend

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Snowman Phil, with his brother Eddie

 Phil laughed generously at my recounting the joke the elderly Mr Holbrook used to make when asked how he was “well my dear, put it this way, at my age I don’t even buy green bananas”.  I tried to explain AirBnB to them.

“You stay in someone’s house.  People who have a spare room, let it out for a reasonable price – all done online”.  They looked impressed, especially when I said I was paying around £62 a night (faintingly cheap for New York).  However, when I said I would potentially be sharing the bathroom with 8 other people, a fact I’d only discovered the night before I left home, when all was signed, sealed and paid for, their expressions changed.  A bit like mine did when my host said “oh you won’t be the only guest, we actually have four double bedrooms for rent.”  Panicked, I’d emailed back immediately to ask the number of bathrooms, and discovered the do-not-disturbing truth.  Was this a cosy arrangement, with a pair of friendly New Yorkers  (gay men I hoped from the cleanliness of the apartment in the pictures), or was it a major business?  Still I’ve slept on everything from a mud floor in a desert bar in Morocco, to a tent with an elephant scratching it’s belly on the side.  Surely I could do an Air BnB in New York?

I was awake with the crack next morning and showering wondering if it would be my last for a day or two. Nick emerged in plenty of time to drive me into Boston for the 7 am train to New York.

The Horsley family has a  habit.  We never leave the house once.  It’s those moments when you’re half way down the path and you suddenly remember you left your phone behind.  Then your umbrella, shopping bags, or the directions to where you are going.  The worst of us can do it many times.  Ask Jane.  She’ll tell you.  Why is it that wallets get lost mainly when there is a pressing reason for them not to, like catching a plane, or taking the red-eye train to New York? We turned every corner of the house upside down.  Tipped out those areas  where things gather and conspire, lifted sofa cushions, looked in bins, in coat pockets, under and over the car seats and trunk –  we even checked the cutlery drawer.  “You’re efficient Nick, don’t you think it’ll be in your man-bag?”

“Nope, tried that”.

Sick with nerves that I’d miss my train, this went on for about half an hour…every so often me repeating my refrain.  This was my nightmare situation.  I hate arriving in a last minute dash.  Get stuck in traffic with a flight to catch?  I’d rather sleep on an airport bench.  I tend to arrive insanely early.  I set three alarms (watch, iPad and clock)  at increasing distances from my bed, and still I spend half the night awake and worrying I’ll oversleep.  (My ultimate alarm clock bought in a Bangkok supermarket the night I escaped from Mr Prong, has finally died a death.  A trumpeting cat figure that played reveille loudly, repeatedly declaiming WAKE UP, WAKE UP, until I hit the button, the eyes on the cat clicked open and it said “Goo Morning.” My my mainstay for 20 years,  I miss that clock. )

The most alarming clock

The most alarming clock

Nick found the keys.  They were in his man bag. Half an hour later he delivered a nervous wreck to the station just as boarding began. Ten minutes later we pulled out, with me reclining in the most comfortable train seat I’d ever experienced, settled on the left side, so that I could watch the coast all the way down to New York.  New York!  I was on my way.