Day Six – Kirkjufell: ‘Iceland’s most photographed mountain.’

Kirjufell in early morning mist…see below to see it in all its golden glory

Kirkjufell (church mountain) snuck up on us. We approached it from the rear and didn’t immediately recognise what we were seeing.

“Wow, look at that slope, that’s really weird,” I said to Tessa and checked it out in the rear view mirror.

“Hang on we have to stop.” I saw a conveniently placed pull over. “That’s it. I can’t believe I’ve just driven past it …oh my god, it’s amazing.”

‘Iceland’s most photographed mountain’, could hardly have looked less photogenic in the dull mist however.

“Let’s hang about for a bit and see if it clears,” Ever the optimist, my photo juices were rising. “Is it getting a bit brighter over there?”

We went down to the shore and watched a couple of squeaky-clean black and white Eider ducks pottering about and waited for the weather to change. Why wouldn’t it? We’d been incredibly lucky so far, apart from the 90mph winds it had hardly rained on us, and we hadn’t had to contend with driving in snow. Some days had even been gloriously sunny.

Everything comes…our patience was rewarded with knobs on.

‘Arrowhead Mountain’ according to Game of Thrones Season 6 was birthplace of the Night King. I still prefer Kirkjufell, Church mountain. Gradually the sun came out. Kirkjufell gleamed golden against the blue sky. Climbable only by experts, because it’s so crumbly, I can’t help feeling it’s good to keep it that way, its pristine bare slopes are an extraordinary sight.

By miraculous synchronicity there was an article in yesterday’s Guardian (Why Scottish celts are key to Iceland’s past – Severin Carrell, Wednesday 4th January 2023) that neatly explains its name to me. Aren’t churches in Scotland called kirks? Carrell points out that Icelandic folklore has a Gaelic speaking warrior queen called Aud, who was among Iceland’s earliest settlers. Carrell writes: “a book by Thorvaldur Fridriksson, an Icelandic archaeologist and journalist, argues that Gaelic speaking Celtic settlers from Ireland and western Scotland had a profound impact on the Icelandic language, landscape and early literature”.

To me this explains the predominance of Icelandic redheads, sagas, poetry and come to think of it…wouldn’t it take a hardy Celt to have the bottle to settle in such a challenging land? I understand the first person to come across it called it ‘Iceland’ and hightailed it away as soon as he could.

To the side of Kirkjufell we were treated to a rainbow as the sky cleared.

Who was overdressed? Tessa and myself bundled up in our rain gear and walking boots or this dapper fellow? Or was he an airline pilot out on a jolly?

Click on the image to see a video of the falls beside the mountain.

We drove on along the peninsular and headed north towards the lava tube cave which was next on the agenda. David at Rickshaw had booked us on the Vatnshellir Cave tour with Summit Adventure Guides (helmets and head torches provided) and we needed to be there by 12.30.

Snaefellsnes presenting another National Geographic calendar view.

But Iceland has so many surprises and distractions. As we drove on across some of its most stunning, ‘ooing’ and ‘wowing’, we came across another extinct volcano.

“A cinder cone, Tessa, that’s a cinder cone…we have to stop… there’s a track to it.”

I climbed one once in Lassen National Park in California. They are the young pups of volcanoes, not yet sealed with vegetation, showing their makings. The Lassen cone was a taller than this one, more pointy. Climbing it was an exhausting experience, taking one step forward only to slide two back on the steep loose cinder. I thought I’d never make it to the top. Eventually when we got there, skirted the rim and climbed down into the centre of the caldera, we found three young men squatted down in the dip right in the middle discussing their investments. I looked at my ex and laughed. Californians eh?

Tessa spent a long time bent double taking artistic pictures of rocks for her Instagram feed near the car park while I wandered around the base taking pictures of the cone and feeling very glad she wasn’t suggesting climbing it, despite the fine stairway – the clock was ticking to get to Vatnshellir Lava Caves on time.

Lava caves form during the last stages of a volcanic eruption. The surface sometimes develops a frozen crust over a still flowing lava stream below. As the lava dwindles, molten material drains out from under the crust leaving long cylindrical tunnels. Gases from bubbles in the lava collect under the tunnel roof and support it. As the gas mixes with air from vents in the roof more intense heating from oxidation raises the temperature enough to re-fuse the ceiling rock which sometimes drips remelted lava, forming rough stalactites and stalagmites.

You are only permitted to enter the Vatneshellir Caves with a guide and I would have it no other way. We parked, gobbled up our ‘left-over breakfast’ in the car, fed the crows (waddling around us like they were wearing wet nappies) with crumbs and ran up to the visitors centre getting there just in time to get kitted up for our descent into the depths. As we were adjusting our helmets my phone jingled a news flash.

“She’s gone” I beamed at Tessa, “she’s out. Resigned. Woo Hoo.” The rest of the group around us looked quizzical. “Liz Truss, our truly dreadful Prime Minister?” They beamed sympathetically.

Imagine being the first person to discover one of these caves?

One part of the cave appeared to be dripping with chocolate sauce.

Other areas were green with sulphur or possibly copper.

There were some remaining stalagmites in places, sadly many had been snapped off by early explorers and taken home as mementoes.

Can you see the saw-toothed monster living in the depths?

“Will you be asking us to turn off our torches so we can experience total darkness and silence?” I asked our guide.

“Shh,” he said with a wink “in a minute.”

There was a man who worked in the caves at Cheddar Gorge in Somerset. My my mother took me when I was about 14. He’d been given the job of guide there after WWII because his lungs had been badly damaged in gas attacks and it was the purest air for him to breathe. He told us to switch off our torches and for a few minutes we experienced 100 per cent darkness, 98 per cent pure air and total silence. It was unforgettable.

Our guide stopped in a large chamber where we could spread out and stand safely on solid ground. “Now you are going to experience something very special. When I say ‘off’ I want you to all turn off your head torches, keep silent and just listen. Two minutes, that’s all. OK?”

Not an anorak rustled, not a drip dropped. No child giggled. We stood, and breathed and listened, even my thoughts stopped clamouring. Once again my whole body, all my senses thrilled to the experience.

It would be easy to spend an entire week on the Snaefellsnes peninsular, there is so much to explore there. Once again we had too many plans to fit in the afternoon. We drove on to Djupalsonssandur black sand beach on the south western prominence of the peninsular. Another place where you definitely don’t want to turn your back on ‘sneaky’ waves.

The path to the beach takes you through a corridor of lava rock formations of sea dragons and trolls.

Djupalonssandur used to be a large winter fishing port. Farmers would stay for weeks in tents or small shelters and brave the rough seas to fish in rowing boats. Djupalonssandur was chosen for its fresh water supply from a small pond behind the beach. Farmers-turned-fishermen from Dritvik, a half hour walk over the lava fields, also had to come there for fresh water. To prove their strength, and my god would they need it in those savage seas, fishermen held competitions to lift increasingly heavy stones, the largest weighing 155 kg. The stones are still at the beach near the remains of their shelters although fishing there gradually tailed off and ended around 1860.

As you approach the shore you walk through the wreckage of a British trawler, the Epine from Grimsby that sank there on March 13th 1948.

Chunks of metal from the wreck have been left there as a memorial to the drowned.

If ever there was a place to contemplate mortality, this is it. The rescuers were forced to wait until the tide came in as the Epine was smashed against the rocks. Of the 19 men on the boat 13 were lost. The others were rescued, one by tying himself to the mast, another was washed ashore by the tide, the remainder when a line was attached to the boat thrown to one of the trawler men still on the boat. The drowned had survived the war only to drown in the raging, ice-cold North Seas.

The beach was almost deserted. Were the two men in the video the ones who found my credit card? I’d fished in my pocket for my phone to take a picture of the information board about the shipwreck as we left and it must have dropped out. We ran back to the beach in panic to search for it, Tessa asked the first guys she came across if they’d seen it.

“This?” they said grinning and holding up my bright blue card. “It’s your lucky day.” Nowadays the card goes in a different pocket from my camera if I take it out with me. A lesson learned.

The freshwater pool behind the beach. I was tempted to have a dip. But honestly? All that faff getting layers of clothes off, and struggling back into them with nothing to dry myself on. Besides I had no cozzi. My swim friend Jo would have dipped and Mandy would have cozzi or not, I’m much more of a wimp.

From the beach we drove 2km south to Malarrif to explore the area around the splendid rocket-shaped lighthouse.

You have to admire the tenacity of nature. Pumice isn’t exactly the most comfortable of homes for a tiny seed to germinate.

An old cod curing hut that had been used as a schoolroom, now a visitors centre

Here is one of the kid’s sculptures. Penny for the snot man?

I don’t know who Steinn was but I definitely wouldn’t want to meet him on a dark night.

I imagine any child would develop a plutonian view of the world living in such a dramatic landscape. You certainly wouldn’t want to let your children pop down to the beach and play on their own.

Rough seas at Arnastapi

Always good to turn around and look behind you. Another cinder cone seen from the entrance drive of the Foss Hotel.

It was clear we wouldn’t be able to get a meal at the Kast and we were relieved to find the Foss Hotel in Hellna where we could have a cuppa and book into dinner,

If I ever return this is where I’d choose to stay for a night or two. A really fabulous hotel.

Best lounge area yet.

Views from the lounge down onto holiday homes where rich Icelanders have weekend breaks, not for the likes of the Hoi Polloi.

The Foss Hotel’s greatest asset – Matt, a fount of knowledge about Iceland and thoroughly nice bloke. It was Matt who told us the little cabins below the hotel were holiday homes for rich Icelanders, who apparently spend not a penny in the hotel. Same on the Gower Peninsular in South Wales and everywhere I guess where second homes mean people stocking up in the local supermarket on the way and contributing zip to the local economy. We sipped our Earl Grey tea and scanned the evening’s menu. I chose the veggie thing like a mushroom wellington and Tessa a fish. We both tucked into the national dish of superb bread with salt-grained butter served on black pebbles. Very stylish. Something I must remember to do at home.

“I know it’s not the end, I know there’s more crass misgovernment to come but I hope you’ll excuse me having a drink to celebrate?” I asked Tessa.

I can confirm Icelandic gin is deliciously fragrant and that eating in such a lovely place with mouthwatering food cost no more than anywhere else in Iceland.

Congratulating ourselves for coming across such a fine dining experience and comfortable hotel we drove the short distance back to the Kast Guesthouse. It was dark by the time we arrived.

“It’s absolutely freezing in here,” I frowned at Tessa “did you turn the heating off?”

“No. Must have been the cleaners.”

Tessa climbed on a chair to adjust the heating.

The night before we’d had no luck with the Norther Lights. Time was running out for a re-run.

“What if we set our alarms for quarter to midnight and go and look for them around that time? It’s when we saw them the first night?” As if there was any sense in that. They are totally random but it was something to try.

“If we leave the curtains open we might see them?” I went to bed in my woollen long johns, merino tee shirt and thick socks. I couldn’t sleep. Only two sleeps left. I tossed and turned for a bit then put on several more layers and went outside to look. Nothing. I still couldn’t sleep. I lay staring out of the window. I got up and looked. I kept checking the app. They were definitely in the area, it was tantalising. I went back to bed lay staring at the black rectangle of the window, slept briefly and woke and looked again.

“Oh my god.” I sat bolt upright and called out to Tessa.

“Tessa? Look. Lights. I think the sky is getting lighter or is it my imagination?” We started piling on extra layers. It was -5C with the windchill. We huddled by the side of the building to shelter from the brutal wind and stared at the hill behind the Kast.

“It does look a bit lighter. Try taking a picture with your phone” said Tessa.

I took a photograph.

“Yes. Yes. There they are. They’re here. I can’t believe it they are actually here.” Tessa was somewhat underwhelmed and I admit they weren’t the most spectacular, but for me they were still magical . It was a brief showing but to see them twice on our trip, well that was awesome.

Day Four – Facing my Nemesis

Our alarms went off at 6. If I have to I’m pretty good at leaping out of bed at sparrow’s fart. The requested kettle still hadn’t arrived. I longed for a wake-up mug of hot jasmine tea and to take one to Tessa … I had an apology to make.

“Sorry about my foul mood last night, and all the swearing.” Tessa is a good person, a calm quaker and not one to hold a grudge. She was gracious as ever. I hoped that getting into the bathroom first and giving her a bit of snooze time would make up for my rant.

“There’s no hot water” I yelped hopping from foot to foot on the cold tiled floor trying not to swear. After a few minutes it came through. “Maybe it has to come all the way over from the main building too?”

Drangshild Guesthouse main building at dawn.

We could see a light on in the restaurant and walked over to have a quick breakfast at 7 o’clock. Some of the Italians were already stuck in. We were impressed with what as on offer and piled up fruit, hard boiled eggs, muesli, skyr, bread and cheese slices… best to line our stomachs well for what was to come. We had a date with the famous Reynisfjora black beach, a crashed plane on another beach near Vik and a glacier to reach by noon. Getting lost, missing the assembly time for the Glacier Discovery hike was not an option.

I have mixed history with glaciers. I tumbled down a rock glacier (think frozen Mars Bar cracking if it’s bent over)on the Charity Hike from Hell through the Alaskan wilderness 20 years ago. I stepped on an unstable rock and tumbled over and over propelled by a 50lb backpack that had been promised to be no more than 30. “Where is the lightweight trail food?” I’d asked the guide as I packed a bag of flour, dried tortellini and a pack of pop tarts. “Too expensive” she said. The memory of it still haunts me. Why, I wonder now, had I said “that’s a good idea” when David at Rickshaw suggested it as an alternative to Orca watching (which was just out of season).

“My turn to drive” I held out my hand for the keys.

“Are you sure? I’m happy to drive if you prefer?” By her own admission Tessa is, shall we say, a bit of a back seat driver.

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure now we’re on the open road I’ll soon get used to doing gears again. Foot on clutch to start yes?”

And off we set to the hideous sound of gears crashing and a couple of stalls.

“Oops, sorry.”

Turns out Reynisfjara black beach has a bit of a rep. We didn’t know that at the time. We read the warning notice and laughed at the expression: ‘sneaker’ waves. In June this year a foreign tourist, a 70 year old man, had gone into the sea and been snatched by one that snuck up on him. The man and his wife were part of an organised tour. (?!?****) His wife got caught up in the same wave but bystanders were able to catch her before she got sucked into the sea. He was helicoptered out of the sea but it was too late, it only takes a matter of seconds to die in seas this rough and cold. Another near drowning had happened only the day before when a man went in in his bathers and had to be rescued putting a lot of other people at risk. They wonder, how big do we have to make the sign?

We strode along the shore at a respectful distance. Fortunately I wasn’t remotely tempted to go for a dip, was careful to not turn my back on the waves and merely basked (as much as that is possible when it’s -5 with the wind chill) in the breathtaking beauty of acres of black sand, striking rock formations in the sea, basalt pillars and golden cliffs. (Check out Game of Thrones Season 10.)

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THE WAVES LOOK INNOCENT DON’T THEY?

The beach was so captivating we ran out of time to get to the other beach to see the Sólheimasandur plane wreck. Rickshaw Travel had suggested it as an extra to do, that it is ‘quite cool and surreal’, great for photos. Crashed planes are another reminder of the Charity Hike from Hell, and though everyone survived this crash (when the US Navy DC ran out of fuel in 1973) and the pilot of the rescue plane in Alaska, I wasn’t too sorry to give it a miss. Sólheimajókull Glacier at noon awaited.

We arrived with plenty time to spare and were relieved to see a row of portaloos in the car park. This ‘no stopping except at dedicated pull ins’ (which can be occupied) rule and the wide open landscapes are challenging in the chilly weather. We got to the loos before a coach party pulled in, ate our ‘breakfast leftovers’ and went over to the container van to check in. Our guide, a tall dark and handsome Greek, or was he Spanish(?), smiled and pointed to the piles of kit.

“Oh my god Tessa, look at those…I thought we’d just need crampons. Ice axes? Hard hats?”

I’d imagined we were going on a little hike, a snoop around the edges of the glacier learning about how they are formed, are dissolving, that kind of thing. Heaven knows what gave me that idea. A glacier hike is a glacier hike.

“This is how you put on the harness” said Zan holding one out “one leg in here, the other leg here.”

“Harnesses?” I looked alarmed. “Oh, I know, in case we need to be hauled up into a rescue helicopter” I joked. He grinned. I’d forgotten the possibility of falling down a crevasse. Sensibly he didn’t respond. We struggled into our harnesses and Zan came round and hoicked them up tighter. Good that we’d had time to go for a pee before we were all trussed up. No chance of getting out of those for a quick squat behind a rock.

“This is how you put on your helmets. You can put them on top of your hats.

“Helmets?” someone said.

“Lava rocks are very light. They can blow off the mountain in these winds and hit you on the head. Haven’t you noticed all the dents in cars in Iceland? Right, off to the glacier. Sólheimajókull means ‘home of the sun’ glacier, it’s an outlet of Myrdalsjokull which is the fourth largest in Iceland.”

The first part of the hike was rather depressing.

“The Glacier used to go all the way down to the car park and beyond ” said Zan “these icebergs are all that is left.”

“When we get onto the glacier you must all walk single file behind me, no wandering around.” I was perfectly happy to comply, he’d know the safe routes avoiding crevasses. I was very impressed by the whole operation and the care he was taking with us. There was a school kid who walked the glacier I went on in Alaska who fell down one. They sent rescuers down on ropes 200ft to look for him, then a camera a further 500ft. He was never found.

The guides do this clever thing when the glacier starts its winter freeze, blocking the streams that run through the crevasses with ice. This creates a solid bottom you can safely walk on to get an experience of the blue ice.

Glaciers aren’t the pristine white you’d expect. Especially when nearby volcanoes like Eyjafjallajokul pop off thousands of tons of ash over them. If they are covered by a thin layer of ash it can speed up the melting. A thick layer can do the opposite. Although it looked pristine white when we flew over it as we arrived, the glacier was actually a bit mucky.

Once again I was to learn that ‘giving it a go’ brings rewards. Since I nearly died of malaria when I was in my early thirties my default is to say ‘why not?’ to opportunities in life. Zan, unlike our guides on the Charity Hike from Hell, who caused our rescue plane to crash and led us up the wrong mountain, was incredibly well trained, experienced in the terrain and on the case if anyone needed help. He led us to the turquoise blue crevasse and a stream where we could drink the chilled purity of glacier water. It was magnificent.

We drove for a couple of hour to the Flúðir Guesthouse in Grund. It was near the Secret Lagoon, Gamma Laugin, where we planned to wallow in thermal waters.Unlike the big fancy Blue Lagoon near Reykjavik, that everyone has pictures of and that costs £70 a pop, the Secret Lagoon is a natural pool on the edge of the village costing a mere £13. It’s quieter than the Blue Lagoon, no fancy spa vibe. Before our trip I’d googled a comparison between the two. The person who wrote the piece I read was hard put to say which was best but reading between the lines he tilted in favour of the Secret Lagoon.

If I have a tiny criticism of the guesthouses, apart from the Klopp in Reykjavik, it’s that their welcome lacks, well, welcome. It’s kind of desultory and you feel a little as if your arrival is a bit annoying. If you actually find someone there to greet you that is and you don’t have to go looking. However our room at the Fludir was lovely and there were two options that looked good for a meal after a wallow.

“Is the Secret Lagoon near?” we asked at non-reception.

“You can see it. You can walk. It takes 10 minutes, or you can drive.”

We opted to drive. It had been an exhausting day.

The Lagoon steaming in the distance

Through the ages, it was a tradition to bathe in the thermal waters here in Grund. The first swimming lessons in Iceland were held at Gamla Laugin in 1909, and then every year until it fell into disuse in 1947. In the old days, people also used it for washing clothes, practical if a bit smelly I’d have thought. (Thermal waters have a sulphurous waft…it’s the sulphur that makes them so healing and good for the skin and rheumatics.)

In 2005, the pool was gradually reborn, but kept authentic. It celebrated its opening in June 2014. There are hot showers, in an open shared space, and lockers. On the walls are helpful posters informing you with big red circles the smelliest bits of your body to carefully wash and instructions that it must be done naked and with soap. It is a big no-no not to do this. Icelanders think we tourists are a bit yucky if we don’t. What I loved about this is that it meant young girls mingle with real women’s bodies, all ages and shapes. So healthy in an age where they are constantly exposed to perfect (mostly manipulated) images on TikTok.

The water was shoulder height on me, hotter at the edges. Place your ‘noodle’ right and you can float around totally relaxed looking at the sky.

We’d only just made it there in time before it closed at 7pm and wallowed about in total bliss for the recommended 20-25 minutes in water that was nudging 38-40deg I could have gone on for another hour at least.

“Have you noticed it’s getting hotter?” said Tessa. “Is that how they persuade us out?”

Tessa was happy to get out and enjoy the icy walk out of the pool and into the showers.

We staggered out of the changing rooms, drunk on heat and relaxation, to the eerie light from the greenhouses next to the lagoon. All that lovely free heat is used all over Iceland to grow the delicious salads we’d been eating since we arrived.

“I’m hungry” I said “do you fancy the Ethiopian restaurant?”

We found our way lit by our mobiles to the restaurant.

Iceland is full of surprises, and another foodie one was to find an Ethiopian restaurant in this little town miles from anywhere. What must it have been like for the lovely woman who married and Icelander to move here? How long did it take for her to adjust to the climate?

“Can I meet your wife?” I asked “may I take a photo?”

Minilik restaurant was yet again somewhere I could be vegetarian in Iceland and eat extremely well. I love Ethiopian food. For those of you unfamiliar it’s served on Injera, a soft, bubbly, fermented pancake-like flatbread made from teff flour. It has a very distinctive sourdough taste from the fermentation process and looks greyish. It could easily be mistaken for a dirty dishcloth and is an acquired taste I suppose. Dishes are laid out on the pancake in dollops and you tear bits off and scoop the food up into your mouth with it. We found it a delicious meal, our hosts were delightful, it was a perfect end to the day. Or it would have been if only Chelsea would make her mind up. We listened to the Archers latest episode as we settled down to sleep. Time was running out for her if she did decide on the abortion route. We could have done without the cliffhanger at bedtime night after night. ‘You have your whole life ahead of you Chelsea. For pity’s sake make your mind up.’ Would we even get the answer before the end of the trip?

Fire and Ice

Northern Lights, Iceland

Did it start when I couldn’t resist creeping nearer to the erupting Mount Merape volcano in Java ignoring the sign saying HALT. We heard it first before we saw it; great cracking, thunderous bangs as it hurled out glowing lava the size of an average council house that cooled as it crashed down the cinder fields. Or was it the plopping, steaming mud pools in Costa Rica? No, it goes further back than that. It was the charity hike from hell through the Alaskan Wilderness 20+ years ago. Flying home over Greenland I flagged down the airhostess.

“I wonder…could you ask the pilot if I can watch the Northern Lights from the cockpit if there’s a showing on this flight?”

“Hey, great idea” she said. It was before 9/11.

Three times during the flight she woke me up and we walked the path of the privileged (I dream of one day turning left on a plane) to enter the holy grail of first class then the cockpit.

“There you are m’am see that?”said the pilot. It looked like someone had gone ‘bouf’ with a tub of green talcum powder into the sky. No curtains or ribbons or reds, but enough of a thrill to log into my brain that one day I’d go to Iceland and see more.

There’s no guarantee. It might be overcast all week, and a week it will be because Iceland is scarily expensive. My dentist’s receptionist was thrilled by her weekend break there but said a pizza and two beers cost them £70. However the more I learn about what we can see there it’ll be a bonus if we do see the lights. I have an alert app on my phone and fingers and toes are crossed.

David from Rickshaw Travel sends us a list of extras we can do. (We already have whale watching and Northern Lights boat trips, Glacier cave adventure, and Secret Lagoon trips planned.) I read we could also see the statue of the last Great Auk (extinct because, being flightless, they were easy to catch, and both they and their eggs rather tasty.) There are museums and so on but we could also see the place where someone was beheaded, a crashed American plane on a black sand beach and the place where a lighthouse was demolished…it’s all very Icelandi noir don’t you think?

I don’t like to travel somewhere without being able to, at the very least, say hello, goodbye and thank you in their language. One Minute Icelandic on YouTube is tells me to say godan dag (pronounced go than dach) for hello but gets complicated when you could also say Saell to a man but Sael to a woman (pronounced cycle and sile). At least I’ll remember how to say goodbye: Bless!

Hanging out in the Cloud Forest

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Hanging bridge in Monteverde Cloud Forest canopy

Rickshaw travel gave me a choice “you can take a zip wire over the canopy” said Paula “it’s really thrilling.”  For a moment I was hooked (in a kind of ‘poop poop’ Toad kind of a way) then I thought ‘I can do that in the Forest of Dean…in fact I have done it in the Forest of Dean accompanying my friend Lesley in a terrifying 60th birthday celebration at Go Ape.’  “You’re the only friend I thought would say yes” she said when she invited me. True, it was really thrilling, and more than a little challenging for someone whose knees go weak when anyone goes near a cliff edge, and I was excited by the zip wire bit  flying half a mile over the tree tops to skid along some wood chip and crash into buffers at the end. However, why would I want to speed over the rainforest when I could be in it, wandering about avoiding snakes and looking for sloths and monkeys?  I changed my mind and Paula booked me a hanging bridges hike instead.

It was clear on the day we went for the skywalk in the Monteverde Cloud Forest.  That’s unusual; most visitors walk through a bean souper.  It was also cold and a bit drippy.  Our guide Oscar wasted no time telling us “I knew a woman, tipped me big because I found her a bird that has 8 different songs.”  He found us that bird too, not so rare as it happens, and what birdwatchers call an LBJ (little brown job).  I don’t remember it’s name, he was too busy telling us about the size of another tip he’d had from another woman. After quite a lot of wandering and seeing nothing he found us a red kneed tarantula holed up in a bank.  Tessa was thrilled.  “Oo look… don’t you want to see it?” I peered into the hole reluctantly.  Couldn’t see a thing.  I tried again, without success.  Tessa loves spiders, and tells me I should leave them alone in my house.  I’ve had to train myself to remove them to the garden (gently in a hankie) but she will have none of it.  I can’t bear it when they plop heavily onto my bed and wake me up. I tried again, and, once I’d realised I needed to put my reading glasses on, got a faint glimpse of its hairy red knees. We walked on to our first hanging bridge.  I was fine on the ones like the one above, with opaque sides which gave me a false sense of security.

“Anyone afraid of heights?”asked Oscar. I took a deep breath walked carefully to the middle, avoiding looking down and the bounce that had begun as the others crossed ahead of me.

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We walked on to the next bridge the sides were just flimsy looking netting. Clear sided bridges are another thing altogether. Tessa stopped to take a picture down to the forest floor. What you see is the moment before she leaned over, phone in hand to get a better shot.  “Argh don’t do that” I shouted “you’ll drop your phone.” I felt a jolt in the base of my spine watching her. “I probably will now you’ve said that” she complained.  Of course what I was really afraid of was that she’d drop over the edge.

One of our party made the mistake of holding on to the rail supporting the netting. “Euww, what’s this gooey stuff?” he asked. We had just reached to the place where howler monkeys are known to hang out. People we’d passed earlier going in the opposite  direction said they’d watched howlers dancing about on the bridge for a full ten minutes.They were there alright, way up high in the canopy, making a wild rumpus in a face off with some capuchins.  Their ‘hoo hoo hoo’ resonated around the forest, a sound that is audible many miles away. I don’t think they appreciated the interruption of a good fight by a bunch of gawping tourists. We heard a loud SPLAT a few feet away, and another, and another. Our companion realised what he’d just put his hand on.

“Jeeze we’re under attack” I said “shit hurling howler monkeys.”

“Shall we move on?” said Oscar.

Whilst I have to admire a creature that can shit on demand, in its own hand when needs must, I was happy to move swiftly on.  I recalled a family story, oft recounted with mean sniggers by my brothers, of their visit to London zoo with their friend Giles Dymock.  They’d been admiring monkeys in a cage when one of them, seemingly sitting innocently on it’s hand, took aim and got Giles smack in the face.  I wonder if it was a howler? Giles grew up to be a stock broker, I bet he often had a shit day.

DSC01141We tipped Oscar reluctantly, it stuck in our craws tired of the dozen or more brazen hints he’d dropped for us to do so. Until then we had followed the Rickshaw advice and had been only too happy to acknowledge the guiding we received. 

It was soon forgotten when we noticed a coati pottering about in the car park, tail up like a happy cat, reminding us of its racoon cousins. It was rooting around in the scrubby margins looking for something to eat. Tessa said she thought I looked just like one rooting about in my backpack for a snack bar.

It had been a bit of a shoo-in to arrange a guided hike in Curi Cancha. I’d struck up a relationship with Darlene in Monteverde Travel over our emails. At first it seemed impossible, costing over £100 for an afternoon with a guide and then being told it couldn’t be arranged for just one person anyway. Then Tessa joined me on the trip and with good natured cooperation between Darlene, Paula and myself we juggled the timings and managed to fit it in.  Tessa and I would have our own guide for the whole afternoon and it would cost us just $46 each.  “Call in to the office and you can practice your Spanish” Darlene said in her last email.  I was saved the shame (come on Duolingo, 50%?) by the rush to get back to Cala Lodge in time for a quick turn-around for our ride to Curi Cancha.

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Davide met us at the visitor centre. Tall, skinny, 22 years old, with a stylish flat mohican, his face lit up when he saw our binoculars “you are birders?”

I explained “No, not really, but we like birds very much, bird appreciators I’d say, and plants and animals. I’d really love to see a Resplendent Quetzal.”

“Ah, difficult” he said sucking on his teeth “but I will try my best.” 

The thing about Curi Cancha is that being at a lower, warmer elevation there is a much better chance of seeing the abundant wildlife that lives there. It’s a small private reserve, with far fewer visitors than the Cloud Forest.  It wasn’t ideal to visit in the afternoon you always see more birds in the early mornings, but it was our only chance.

Davide reminded me of my grandson Nils, bursting with enthusiasm on all matters related to wildlife. I could picture Nils (with his hair recently styled just like Davide’s) being a guide himself one day.  Now 13, he has grown up without television but allowed to watch David Attenborough documentaries for a treat. He can name nearly every animal on the planet. (It was Nils who sat through my bird pictures with a loaned guide book helping me to identify them.)  A few years ago I wrote to Attenborough to thank him for the profound and beneficial influence he’d had on Nils and his sister Nina, and their cousins Indigo and Rubin…children all over the world in fact.  I’d got them to do him some drawings. Such is the graciousness of the man I had a hand written reply to them from Sir David.  I read it out  to them at our Christmas dinner. They blushed with delight. He thanked them for their drawings not in a ‘that’s nice dear’ kind of a way, but showing he’d taken a real interest in the details. I love that man.

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Napping Agouti photobombed by a bird

We knew we were on a winner with Davide when he led us off on the hike making bird calls.  He took us to a meadow and showed us a coati waking from it’s nap in the fork of a tree branch and made a video for us with his scope.  Walking past a coffee hedge on the outskirts of the tended garden we were startled when an agouti raced past chased by a coati, then settled under a tree for a nap. Like giant terrier size rats on long legs they would be really spooky if those legs were shorter and they had a long tail.  But I think I know now what the ‘giant rats’ were that were caged with a bored, gum chewing woman in a green sparkly bikini in a kind of glass box at Gloucester Fair when I was a child.

Padding silently around the trails, we only passed half a dozen other people.  Davide led us to an area where tall avocado trees were in fruit – a favourite of the Quetzal.  We stood near him for a half hour or more waiting. Davide wandered around making their soft call from time to time, we stayed still and silent.  Nothing. I tried not to be too disappointed.  The problem was we were just a bit too early in the season and the fruit was not yet ripe.  The bird that had entertained me for two years or more as my ringtone with it’s crazy alarm call would have to remain a future wish of mine.

Hot and thirsty we rested a while in the ‘hummingbird garden’ under a lemon/tangerine type of citrus tree watching the birds work the blossom on the cat-tail hedge and quenched our thirst with the sour fruits. “What’s that bird up in that tree over there?” I asked Davide.

“Oh my god, oh my god, you found me my favourite bird…oh look at that, it’s a squirrel cuckoo.”  My chest puffed up, I’d just found a real birdwatcher his favourite bird, and if anyone deserved it it was the extremely knowledgeable Davide. If any place in the world was going to make me a birdwatcher proper it was Costa Rica. And if you do go to Curi Cancha I’m going to bet you won’t do better than to ask for Davide.  I wish you well young man, you have a great future ahead of you, and if I ever find your business card I will send you the promised picture of a badger in my garden.

The Resplendent Quetzal, left and Squirrel Cuckoo Centre Right